Back to scheduled life.

In less than 48 hours,
I shall say bye-bye to the comfy's I'm provided with at home.
To my comfy bedroom where i have my beautiful, long sleep,
To the television which accompanied me all day when I'm bored,
To the refrigerator which filled my stomach,
To the shower in which I spend my own time. ^^
To the car which brings me wherever I want.
TO my daddy who will bring me all places, buy me all things that I ask for,
TO my Mom who will cook deliciously scrumptious meals,
TO my sister who had accompanied me this whole holiday..

I'm sure gonna miss everything.
I'll be away for 5- 6 weeks.
But still it is a long time for me.. :'(
Life have to go on.. Even if I don't like it.
SO, getting prepared, mentally n physically to go back. hee..
Starting with my unfinished packing.
Oh, getting sick thinking of the big luggage I have to bring with me. =.=

Safe journey to all those going back to campus n hometowns.
:D

So disappointed.

Didn't expect such a downfall.
A reminder for me, that i would never get what i want always.
But yet. Its very difficult to see that.
Not sure how to console myself..
Wish I can redo the exam.

Sandy!

The moment i saw the picture on facebook. the first thing came to my mind was, wow, that's beautiful pic.. the cloud behind the statue of liberty. but at a second glance, i saw the word hurricane.
And that's the moment i started to freak out.

that's when i started google-ing about the SANDY..
Until this moment actually.

She really looks scary from the pictures.
I really hope that the people there continue praying and keep themselves braced with this challenge.
I really hope that everything would return to normal.

I know Malaysia is fine. And that it doesn't matter if I don't give a damn about it.
But, from the day i know myself. I'm like this.
I can't sit still with this kind of things going on.
besides, i have a friend in the middle of USA..
He's just a new friend.
But, still he is a friend.

I hope he will be fine.
God, be with him.
God be with everyone there.
Give them the strength to overcome this.

And those who didn't make it through, may their soul rest in peace.
Om.

ayyO!

This song from Planet Galatta really make myself hyper with all kind of movements. :p

M: ayyO idhu nalla sarakku nachunu irukku chikkunu vandha singari ammadi 

F:  poda porikki payalae venanda styelu veenaga ippo waste aaga suthathae

M: enna paaru ennai kadhai solladi en munnal ninnu aambalinga illaiyina ponnu edhukku? 

F:  aamblaina ambalaya? namba vachi kattungayya pombalainga engalukku neenga edhukku? 

M: ayyyyO idhu nalla sarakku nachnunu irukku chikkunu vandha singari ammadi 

F:  poda porikki payalae venanda styelu veenaga ippo waste aaga suthathey 

M: =====malayalak kappa kilanga ga ga ga illa mylapore vathak kulamba ba ba ba idhu bombayi poorik kizhanga ga ga ga illa pattikaatu koli kuLamba ba ba ba =====
ondikondi vaariyadi appothu prove panni naan kaaturaen 

F: kindi kindi pesathaeda velithotram adhu mattum podhadhada

M: ullara ulladhellam utta ooru rendaagum kondaatam ulla rendum uttadhum

F: unnaatam aaLai ellam vittu vecha thappagum poda poda poda pO ====== 

M: ayyO idhu nalla sarakku nachnunu irukku chikkunu vandha singari ammadi 

F: poda porikki payalae venanda styelu veenaga ippo waste aaga suthathey 

M: enna paaru ennai kadhai solladi en munnal ninnu aambalinga illaiyina ponnu edhukku 

F: aamblaina aambalaiya? namba vachi kattungayya pombalainga engalukku neenga edhukku? 

M: ayyO idhu nalla sarakku nachnunu irukku chikkunu vandha singari yammadi 

F: poda porikki payalae venanda styelu veenaga ippo waste aaga suthathae 

M: ===== malayalak kappa kilanga ga ga ga illa mylapore vathak kulamba ba ba ba idhu bombayi poorik 
kizhanga ga ga ga illa pattikaatu koli kuLamba ba ba ba ===== 

F: adaengaPPa thosa dubba adhai kandu kittu sonna en friendu pushpaa 

M: maanga munga doopu vitta ava thaandi unnoda friendu pushpaa 

F: unnoda sangadhi thaan ooraranji poyachi unnoda ex-girl friends ennache? 

M: naanae ava listil naalodu anjachi podi podi podi pO !
 ===== ayyO idhu nalla sarakku nachnunu irukku chikkunu vandha singari yammadi 

F: vaenaam namm paghai ivan thaan porukki paya thaan nerungi vandha aagaadhu thaangadhu 

M: enna paaru ennai kadhai solladi en munnal ninnu aambalinga illaiyina ponnu edhukku? 

F: aamblaina aambalaiya !! namba vachi kattungayya pombalainga engalukku neenga edhukku? 

M: ===== ayyO idhu nalla sarakku nachnunu irukku chikkunu vandha singari ammadi 

F: poda porikki payalae venanda styelu veenaga ippo waste aaga suthathae 

M: ====malayalak kappa kilanga ga ga ga illa mylapore vathak kulamba ba ba ba idhu bombayi poorik kizhanga ga ga ga illa pattikaatu koli kuLamba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba===

It's MY LIFE

'It's my LIFE.
It's now or never.
I ain't gonna live forever.
I just want to live while I'm alive.'

Whatever I do I do it MY WAY.
Because, It is MY LIFE.


Whether,
I do it right.
I do it wrong.
It involves me.

Not others.


I shall not be worried of what others might think
of what I'm doing.
I shall not bend, break and back down for others.

I shall not depend on anyone or anything.
God is with me in the journey.
I shall carve the journey,
I shall lead my life,
For,

I'm the creator of my own path.

'It's my life.
It's now or never.
I ain't gonna live forever.
I just want to live while I'm alive.'

The language of love.. :))

Beauty is the only human aspect which cannot be captured on any canvas howsoever hard an artist tries.

At the most, the undaunted artist can replicate the beauty on paper but what is a replica in comparison to the original! 

The humbling resemblance can only be respected, not truly adored. 

Beauty cannot be imprisoned in the lens of a camera. 

The images of beauty are a moment of its essence. 

Beauty cannot be displayed to evoke pleasure for all on a cinema screen. 

Those are just its imprints, mere illusions of its existence.

Beauty cannot be described by words; it cannot be written or read about. 

There are no suitable words in all the languages of the world, ancient or modern to hold it between a paper and a pen or a script and an eye. 

Beauty can only be experienced from far, its delightful aroma can only be tasted through one’s eyes and its pleasurable sight can only be felt from the soul.

Beauty can only be best described at its origin through a befuddling silence, the kind that leaves one almost on the verge of a pleasurable death, just because one chooses beauty over life. 

There is nothing in this world to hold something so pure, so divine except a loving heart. 

And it is the only manner through which love recognizes love;

Since,

The language of love has no alphabet, no words.

Problems?

Oh yess.
Ever wonder why we face difficulties? O.o
There may be a variety of causes.
Own mistake, as a lesson, as an experience and s forth.
But there's something that i had just realized, which is.

Whenever we face difficulties, God is reminding us that He still exist. hee,
This is because, people always tend to forget God during happy times and only remember God during difficult times.

I think this only happens to those who always seek to God's help when they have a problem or difficulties.

Yea, it is true.
Let's have a look.
For an instance, when one obtained a  very low mark for test.
We would hear people saying, 'Oh God, why me, why giving me such pain n bla2'
But when one had got a very good mark for a test.
Have any of us say, 'Praise the lord, thanks to Him that I could get this mark'
I'm pretty sure that is a rare case. One or two in a million maybe.  :P
All we could hear is only, 'I had worked really hard for this, finally I got it n etc'

See, people only want to share sadness with God.
Not happiness.

So God reminds us that He's still there by giving us some falls as that is how we remember him la kan.
haha.

Moral of the story: Share everything with God. He is not like other human beings who are like chipsmores. He will be there for us all the time. Not only when we have problems. SO yea. Love GOD. :D  I Love you GOD. :D

Oh How I Wish that It Was Easy to Be Alright..

So thankful to a friend of mine who had introduced me to Justin Bieber's Be Alright song.
I'm so floating in the air listening to the lyrics.
Feel its so much connected to me and him.
Hurmm. How I miss him, especially after fighting. :/
Anyway, we still have a long journey and I'm still lucky as I can talk with you. *winkwink* =)

So here's the lyric which had recently stole my attention. :p :))

Be Alright. :))

Across the ocean, across the sea,

Starting to forget the way you look at me now

Over the mountains, across the sky,

Need to see your face, I need to look in your eyes

Through the storm and through the clouds
Bumps on the road and upside down now
I know it's hard, babe, to sleep at night
Don't you worry
'cause everything's gonna be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight

Be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight

Through the sorrow, and the fights,
Don't you worry
'cause everything's gonna be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight

Be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight

All alone, in my room

Waiting for your phone call to come soon

And for you, oh, I would walk a thousand miles,

To be in your arms, holding my heart

Oh I,

Oh I,

I love you

And everything's gonna be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight

Be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight

Through the long nights

And the bright lights

Don't you worry

'cause everything's gonna be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight

Be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight

You know that I care for youI'll always be there for youI promise I will stay right here, yeah
I know that you want me too,Baby we can make it through anything'Cause everything's gonna be alright, ai-ai-ai-aightBe alright, ai-ai-ai-aight

Through the sorrow, and the fights,

Don't you worry

'cause everything's gonna be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight

Be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight

Through the sorrow, and the fights,

Don't you worry

Everything's gonna be alright.. :))

Something for you and me to remember and not to forget.

Having some hard times this few days. Don't even know why it is prolonging. :/
Everyone has their desires and dreams.
But not everything is fulfilled, carried out and done.
Its all due to the circumstances, situations and the environment we are in.
Same goes to us.

I know how you feel. For I feel the same.
I know how hurtful it is. For I go through the same.

But, never forget to remember.
That is what made me how I am now.
People can't simply change themselves, nor their thoughts and opinions.
As youngsters, we have to go in the flow.
We have to understand them. Despite all the sour and bitter feelings.
For it is our responsibility.

Another thing..
Do not ever let us being compared to others.
Because, none of them had went through what we had.
None of them will be able to understand our feelings and views.
Because, we are us, they are them.
It has never been the same.
Let them in their own pace.
We create our own journey.
Our own future according to our mould our shape, our plan.
Because this is about us.
We are the one who have to decide how everything goes and how and when something should occur.
Not them or anyone else.
Do not let others influence us.
Because it is not their life. It is ours.

The day will come.
When we can be like how we want.
By then, we can think maturely.
By then, we would understand the reasons behind all the things that we had went through.
By then, we would be stronger.
Be patient till then.
Stand strong together.
You and I, are meant to be WE.
So, yes, believe in us.
Even if I lose hope,
Make me believe,
Even if You forget how it is supposed to be,
I would remind you of all the promises and beautiful days ahead.
For, I'm sure that WE want this no matter what.
Always remember that we are One.
Always remember that deep in our heart we still need each other.
You and I forever.

Trip to Kelantan

Pictures taken at Kelantan. X that much. just a few. :p

Kluang railway station. best known for its coffee and toast. :D Nyum2..

the train we boarded. was so cold in there. :/

 loved the structure of it.. :))

a full moon seen in the field.. was spectacular. :D

Trip to Kelantan..

Had a long and tiring but happy day today. Went to Kelantan. 'Amazed' by the 'beauty' of the UMK's hostel. Had good time with dear cousin before leaving her there. Now that she's there, I'm not really alone here. hehe..

So the journey was actually to send my dear cousin to UMK for the registration which is on the 1st, so i also followed my parents as i had to go to my campus as i have class on the 2nd.
thus, the journey started at 7.30am on the national day as my aunt n i boarded the sinaran timur train because we had to bring few bags of my cousin which could not fit in the boot of the car.. hehe.. *got that much of bags, like pindah rumah la pulak.* haha..
so, than, the journey was k, since i x get much sleep the day before, i doze off a little while after the train left Kluang station.. than, after nearly 12 hours, we reached Wakaf Baru where we took the taxi to Hotel Politan (a very weird name i feel :/)
Than, fresh up, went for a walk, had a big meal at pizza hut, den walked back to hotel, than what else, sleep la, :p hehe,.
the next day, woke up early, got ready, had wantan mee at nearby chinese restaurant, went to UMK. walk around wiping the drool. :p (x literally :p)
helped couzy with her room, had lunch than leave couzy at her campus n head back to Terengganu..
Bought lotsa stuffs on the way, kacang la, asam la, guava la n etc n etc..
than finally reached my destination. felt quite bad leaving the car.. :'(
but what to do, have to study la kan.. hurrmm.. :(
so, than. had to unpack, settle down n etc.
Starting tomorrow have to go back to old routine,:/
right now, gotta catch some sleep since i woke up really early today.. hehe.. so good night peeps.. ^^

p/s: pictures of kelantan, later la yea.. too tired to upload now. hehe..

Mistake.

People tend to do mistakes.
Not because they want to.
But its the circumstances that lead them.
Hurmm..

You can't just blame for what happened.
I know the risk.
But it happened already.
I trusted them.
That was what brought me there. and return safely.

You know me.
What type of person I am.
Yet.
Hurm..
Forget it.

I just need..

I just need you to shut me up..

So that i can't talk.

So that my imaginations won't run wild..

So that I won't think that I'm right..

Held me close..

And prove me that I'm wrong..

And let me know that it is nothing..

And remind me its nothing..

And help me to forget it..

Remind me that I love you..

Remind me that we love each other..

And never raise your tone or be harsh with me.

For I'm so sensitive..

That it hurts me so much..

You're that cruel?

Can you be that cruel?

What is the reason you do that?
What is the purpose of you giving that?
What is the need for that?
Why do you have to give this much of pain?
Why?
Why?
Tell me why..

Its just too painful to see that.
Imagine how it is for the one bearing..

It hurts so much to see my someone, my belonging to go through that.
Never a day that i had thought, or even imagined that it would happen..
To my sweetheart..

hmm..
What can I do..
What should I do..
Where was I when it happened..
What was I happy then when someone there was longing for my presence..
What was I enjoying when someone there was in pain..

I had been a jerk.
I'm so sorry honey..
I'm just so sorry..

I love you so much..
Hope everything would be fine..
Remember, we are here for you.
Now and forever..
No matter how you are,
No matter what happens.
You belong to us.
There is nothing that can change that.
Love you my dear.
Hope the God who had given you the challenge,
had given you the strength to overcome it too..
And we are always by your side too..
Love you Cassie.

Unwanted?

When tears control the situation,
but refuses to fall..
It become so painful that it hurts to the deepest core of the heart...

If I was.. Would you?

If I was I,
Would you still love me?
If I was a beast,
Would you still love me?
If I was horrifying,
Would you still love me?
If I was a monster,
Would you still love me?
If I was a trouble,
Would you still love me?
If I was a pain,
Would you still love me?
If I was an insane,
Would you still love me?
If I was who I really am,
Would you still love me??

Grown up?

How grown up I am.
How long I have known this self.
Its always hard..
Its always difficult..
For me to understand myself..
For I don't know the reason why I do certain things..
For I don't know the reason why I say certain words..
For I don't know the reason why my behaviour changes in a jiff..
For I don't know what I really want.
For I don't know..

Why oh Why?

Hurrmm..
Why is making up after an argument or fight is so hard??
duhh..
cracking my head how to make it normal again..
ishh..  can't forget what happened, but don't want to be like this also..
hmm.. so egoist la..
but to fake my emotions, I don't want to be a liar.
Egoist is better than liar, or liar better than egoist?

gotta decide soon..
don't want the decision to spoil the treasure, the moments..
don't want to be alone any longer..

If..

Fights are really heart-breakers.
Making everything leaden.
Heart, soul, mind, days, thoughts and almost everything that one does.
If only after each fight,
I could keep calm and say nice things.
If only after each fight,
I could wake up forgetting what had happened,
If only after each fight,
I could only remember how much i have loved and treasured the relationship.
If only after each fight,
I could only think of the beautiful moments we had went through.
If only after each fight,
I could erase the grudges, anger and the bad thoughts.
If only I am able to do all of these.
I could always preserve the relationship that I love so much.
I miss being the old us.
I miss you.

Your Love is My Drug.

Your love is my drug,
It makes me to float
with legs still on the land,
It makes me high
with just the thoughts of you,
It makes me go speechless
with a glimpse of yourself,
It makes me to dream
with eyes still blinking,
It makes me to appreciate
for whoever I am.

Your love is my drug,
Its the Roxicet thatspoils me,
Its the Oxicodone I'm addicted to,
Its the Street Methadone that hurts me,
Its the Heroin that intoxicates me,
Its the Aspirin that I can't live without,
Its the Nasonex that keeps me going,
It poisons me with Love,
Yet it cures me too,
In the name of yours and your love.



Copyright.
NiLo.. =)

What would you do?

There was this tagline in the movie 3 Idiots that goes, "No one can be that sad when your best friend has failed the exam, but no once can beat the frustration when that same best friend has got the highest".

I never had faced that situation before. But now I am.
Feel very bad. Don't feel good at all about what I have got.

So should we be jealous or upset over what our friend has achieved? Or even condemn about the achievement?
Is it alright to do that?

One should never let others to stepped by others. So is it right to fight back with those who had stepped over you?
Even if that person is someone who you know very well.

Family.
A relation that shares everything with you.
Happiness, sadness, stories, and everything else.
But how if that family doesn't share your happiness and sadness.


So, my question is..
What would you do?  If you had to go through these situations..

Think well.. :p

To get you through the hard times.

"It's just when you want... no when you need people to be there for you They're not.. they're like a million miles away And when you think someone is totally reliable and trustworthy and you've built your whole life around them and then it turns out they were never that person." 


"Pain is your friend; it is your ally. Pain reminds you to finish the job and get the hell home. Pain tells you when you have been seriously wounded. And you know what the best thing about pain is? It tells you you're not dead yet!"

”There's so much I had to say I know the words I left behind
And now I'm caught in a daydream with nowhere to run and hide
The world rushes by me, it's leaving me here all alone” ~Alanis Morisette Rain

”If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim” -Jackson Brown, Jr.

A difficult moment.

Problems are common.
Might be a simple one but would cause much sadness and uneasy feelings.
Which wouldn't last really long.
But this time.
It wasn't something simple I guess.
So much of unexpressed feelings.
And wrong timing and place too.
If was in campus, would have had some time to sort out things.
But being here, makes me unable to talk and solve things.
This makes the problem not really solved.
Its not solved actually.
hmm..
Need time.
To put everything back to normal.
To gain whatever being lost.
To build whatever being demolished.
To start afresh again.
For, much have been felt in such a little time.
Which was never expected from a particular person.

Whatever it is.
Should never give up.
For he never gave up on me when i let him down.
For this is not only about me, but it is about us.
Problems are common.
That is what makes us keep going.
That is what makes us stay stronger.

Mighty God..
Give me the strength to go through this.
Give me the calmness, the patience,
Give me the heart to accept everything as usual.

Promise?

Promises.
Are meant to be broken.
If one trusts another then why should they promise?
I trust you would keep a secret.
Then why should I ask you to promise that you won't tell anyone?
Didn't I trust you?

SO promise,
What is it?
Something to test trust?

Promise is Trust.
But if you trust, you shouldn't lay a promise.

I trusted.
But I asked for a Promise.
And it was broken.

Like a mirror.
Into a million pieces.
The one that was broken was the Promise.
And also the trust.

How would I ever trust to tell a secret to the same person again.?
For you had disappointed me.
You may have thousand reasonable reasons or excuses.
But things are not the same anymore.

Once it is broken, it will never be the same.
Let it be the mirror, promise, trust and also heart.
The scars will never fade,
So do the consequences.

For, all those are made not in a day,
It takes everything to build the trust.
But it doesn't even take a second to demolish it into ashes.

The song of the heart today.
feel very disappointed or better said,

Feel ashamed of someone who is writing this.
A sense of betrayal.
For she had failed to be a good daughter.
To a great dad who have always believed in her.
Leaving the heart in thousands of emotions and thoughts.

The only things that could be expressed is through,
a word spelled 'SORRY'.
Which has no meaning.
and thus, creating
countless unseen tears.