Am I a bait?

Things that happened long ago.
Things that I could never erase from my memory, my heart, my everything.
Yet, all through these years I had managed to throw it far deep inside my heart.
But, Today. Again.
You reminded me all of it, dad.

You had stirred my emotions.
You reminded me of all that.
Made me realize that, how old I get, I still can't run away from the truth.
I still can't run away from those memories.
I still....

This is something that I wish I could erase, burn.
But you reminded me dad.
Why? I wish I could ask you.
But.. Hmm..

I didn't expect this from you.
Never ever did I.
I'm not sure if I could throw this far away, again.
Thanks for scratching the scar that was healing, dad.

And, I never want to do all those things that you ask me.
No matter how bad she is, I can never talk like that.
Because, grandpa didn't raise me like that.
I can never talk like that.
That's why, I can't ask you all these.
This is why, I become dumb when my heart asks so much of questions.
Questions that I don't dare to ask.

I don't know if I should be happy of my behaviour, that which is not being able to talk rudely with others.
Or to be upset because, I can't voice out everything that I feel.

This is the place.
The only place I could show all that I feel.

Haiiisshh.

It takes more than just patience to talk with those who are elder than you.
Anyone who don't want to agree, can come and see me personally. :p
We shall discuss about it! :P

Yea. I'M just so short and hot-tempered.
People, young or old.
You should respect everyone's opinion.
If someone is saying something, don't say something that is like totally opposite of what one is saying.
Even if you don't agree with it, say it in a good manner.
DO NOT HURT OTHERS!
WORDS ARE SHARPER THAN SWORD!! *Figuratively as well as literally*

I may not like what my brother does. Nor I'm saying that my brother is right.
But when you say something bad about him, done't expect me to keep shut!
He's my brother! Mind it!

Wish I can say back things.
But. what to do.
I'm not good at doing that. :/
So sad. :(

Oh god. Give me the strength to control my emotions.

Good Night people.

Decisive Element?

Yesterday in the library while i was supposed to find some extra reading reference for my upcoming Philosophy and Education in Malaysia exam, i came across a book that was once mentioned by my Child Development lecturer.

Never had a thought or even expected that my eyes would lay on the books, because, i believed the library doesn't has such books. But i was proved wrong! Ah..

But anyhow, i didn't lose anything but instead gained something for i always wanted to read it..

sure you're getting into nuts thinking why on earth I am dragging these like a chewing gum. right? haha.. sorry.. :p

anyway, this was the book..

*a book to inspire the teacher-to-be,

*a book to rejuvenate the dying passion in teachers who feels miserable with the attitude of the students nowadays or etc.

*a book to remember teachers or at least a teacher who had inspired each of us when we were in school..

among all the stories and quotes in the books, this particular one really caught my attention.

I've come to a frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element in the classroom. It’s my personal approach that creates the climate. It’s my daily mood that makes the weather. As a teacher, I possess a tremendous power to make a person’s life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humour, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and a person humanized or de-humanized. ~ Haim  Ginott

i strongly believe that this does not only apply to teachers, but every other human being on this face of earth. 

why i said so, 

because, in every human there's two wolves. the good one and also the bad one.

and i can actually interpret it in few ways.

1) I am the most powerful person for i can decide how you're day is going to be.

2) Moods are the keys to how your day is going to be.

3) I can be good and neither way too.

4) People especially Teachers play a very important role in others life.

so what i can conclude is that,

i may have thousands of problems, but should never i give a chance to emotions to dominate me for i do somehow effect the lives of those around me. let it be my loved ones, classmates nor students. i do give an impact to people around me. 

 I possess a tremendous power to make a person’s life miserable or joyous.

moral of the story, learn to dominate your heart and emotions. Don't let them dominate you, for many peoples lives are attached in it. :)