Am I a bait?

Things that happened long ago.
Things that I could never erase from my memory, my heart, my everything.
Yet, all through these years I had managed to throw it far deep inside my heart.
But, Today. Again.
You reminded me all of it, dad.

You had stirred my emotions.
You reminded me of all that.
Made me realize that, how old I get, I still can't run away from the truth.
I still can't run away from those memories.
I still....

This is something that I wish I could erase, burn.
But you reminded me dad.
Why? I wish I could ask you.
But.. Hmm..

I didn't expect this from you.
Never ever did I.
I'm not sure if I could throw this far away, again.
Thanks for scratching the scar that was healing, dad.

And, I never want to do all those things that you ask me.
No matter how bad she is, I can never talk like that.
Because, grandpa didn't raise me like that.
I can never talk like that.
That's why, I can't ask you all these.
This is why, I become dumb when my heart asks so much of questions.
Questions that I don't dare to ask.

I don't know if I should be happy of my behaviour, that which is not being able to talk rudely with others.
Or to be upset because, I can't voice out everything that I feel.

This is the place.
The only place I could show all that I feel.